I love Mark Twain. I truly love Mark Twain. So in case you haven’t already read this wonderful passage, The Awful German Language, then it’s time to read it today. And smile.
One of my favorite passages:
In the next place, I would move the Verb further up to the front. You may load up with ever so good a Verb, but I notice that you never really bring down a subject with it at the present German range — you only cripple it. So I insist that this important part of speech should be brought forward to a position where it may be easily seen with the naked eye.
Enjoy something light and fun today. Because humor, too, is beyond the elements of style!
All right, I’ll admit it: this is a case of “it takes one to know one.” And to be honest, I look at some of my earlier novels and short stories and cringe. I’m an educated middle-class intelligent white woman; all my characters sound like educated middle-class intelligent white women. How bland can you get?
Once I had this problem pointed out to me, I started listening to people more attentively. All writers are eavesdroppers; but we generally eavesdrop for content, not delivery. Yet if you spend some time listening to how people talk rather than what they say, your characterizations will benefit from it enormously.
For example, listen to American teenagers sometime (one of them lives with me, so I have a fair number of opportunities to hear this particular flavor of English), and you’ll hear something like this:
I’m like talking to her, right, and then suddenly she’s, like, I’ve heard this already, right, and I’m like, I don’t care…
The person who helped me select paint down at the hardware store on Commercial Street was a second-person sort of narrator:
You want to give this one two, maybe even three coats. You prime it and you do another coat and then you wait. You wait for the right color to show up, that’s when you know not to paint no more.
Certain occupations tend to call for an excess of courtesy in language if not always in deed. Get pulled over and you’ll observe how the police talk; my friend Steve, who used to be in the army, has the same habit.
Yes, ma’am, that’s correct. Ma’am, you need to step over here. No, sir, I didn’t ask you to step over there…
Individuals tend to find expressions they like and stick with them. Many people will use the phrase “I’m just saying,” as a way to segue into a repetition of a statement they just made (and as a way of not listening to anyone else’s opinion on the subject!); I used it in my play Tokens of Affection to give a character wrapped up in herself a way to show it verbally. I expect that you could make a list of similar verbal crutches used by those around you. Ask yourself what those verbal crutches do for the individual, so that when one of your characters needs that, you’ll have the expression to hand.
Want to find out how people sounded (at least in the United States) at different times and in different places? The Library of Congress at memory.loc.gov is where you want to go.
A word of caution: don’t perpetuate stereotypes! For example, people from the northern US states tend to unfairly think that the drawling rhythm of “southern” speech denotes someone who is a redneck, slow, or both; don’t fall into that trap. It’s a lot of -isms that you really don’t want to be part of … and it’s rarely accurate. Characters who are fresh and interesting are characters whose authors have gone deeper than the surface in creating them.
When you’re getting to know your characters, assign each of them a phrase or pet expression to use; it will go miles toward showing rather than telling what that person is all about. And when you’re out and about, listen to how people talk — it will keep giving you fresh ways for your characters to express themselves.
And then you’ll be … beyond the elements of style!
A client recently asked me about writing conferences. As a concept, my response is a great big “yes” — there’s absolutely nothing to perk up one’s writing like spending a long weekend, a week, or even a month completely immersed in one’s art. The client, of course, wanted me to offer suggestions, and I was a little at a loss, as there are so many out there. How, indeed, to figure out which one is the right one?
One option is to simply take a look at Shaw’s Guides and choose a few that look promising, then write for more information.
I can speak firsthand about a few, and I’ve gleaned recommendations for some other from colleagues, students, and clients. Here they are, in no particular order:
- Bouchercon is “the” mystery conference of the year, attracting authors, editors, agents, and readers from all over the world.
- Writers in Paradise I’ve been trying to get here for years, with something coming up every January, so it’s clearly not Meant To Be for me, but my colleague (and fabulous writer) Bill Lambert recommends it highly. Dennis Lehane, Laura Lippmann, Tom Perrotta, and Stewart O’Nan are on the faculty.
- This one is from a colleague on a writing list: Writers Retreat Workshop “Excellent value for the money. Great connections with best selling authors and agents and editors because you live, write, suffer, eat, and party together. Lots of personal hands-on extras. And, to me anyway, the best thing is that you use your story when you work on scenes, examples, practices, and so on. No more boring and useless examples of what you did last summer or at your Aunt Martha’s for your tenth birthday or what you wanted for Christmas but didn’t get when you were five. All your hard work at the workshop is applied directly to your material.”
- Another colleague writes: “Here’s something to consider: Wild Acres. I have a friend who just returned and highly recommends it. North Carolina. Check out the information about the Residency Program. They offer 25 one-week residencies to writers, artists and crafters from May to October — the only expense is your transportation. There is an application process which begins in the fall. My friend completed the information in December (with very brief information about the project she wanted to work on) and learned of her award in March. The retreat’s owner told her they had received between 130 and 140 applications.”
- The Muse Online This is, as the name implies, an online experience, which right away (to me) is a minus — part of the reason I think attending conferences is so great is the opportunity to immerse oneself in the environment. A little like summer camp when you were a child. But this came recommended (by one of the presenters, so take it with the grain of salt that implies) so I thought I’d include it here.
The important thing is to decide ahead of time what your goals are for the conference. Many of them can feel like a meat market, with writers waiting in line for their pitches to be heard by an agent or acquisitions editor; but if your manuscript is ready and you want to meet some people in the industry, then that may be for you. Others may be looking for workshop opportunities, the availability of known writers to talk about the art and craft of writing, or even just a few hours a day of solitary writing time. No matter what you’re looking for, there’s probably something out there for you.
Send me your suggestions and experiences, and I’ll add them here! And then we’ll be … beyond the elements of style!
